Monday, May 20, 2013

When Two is Enough

I remember when I was young I always dreamed that same dream all girl's do. White Picket fence. Married with a handful of kids. Dogs barking. Ok well maybe it was just me :) I remember talking about how many kids when my husband(Josh) and I were dating and engaged.

Our number we decided was 5. 5 kids. Little ones running around, playing sports, dressing up, and so much more. Life is very different than day-dreaming. Now please don't read this wrong- I LOVE being a mom. So so much. I grew up half in foster care and half with my adoptive family.

When I had my first, I still thought the first couple months, "I think I will have 3". Then it tapered down to 2 then it tapered down to NO MORE. God had other plans because Ian was born even while using birth control :) (As of last year we officially are not having anymore and made medically sure).

Lately I have been reading many blogs and articles about how people are not having as many kids. They keep telling me I am failing and should feel guilty for not allowing God to pick the number of kids we have. I disagree. The family planning should be left up to the parents. You. The ones God has put in charge of the lives you bring into this world. God chose you as the parents.


If you can handle more than 4, I think you are amazing. I will not stand here and tell you that you made a wrong decision. I don't believe you do. I think you are a blessed woman with so many blessings in your life.

If you can handle only 1, that is awesome. You are a mom. If someone says you don't really know what being a mom is like, walk away and don't fight it. You are a mom. You brought life into this world.

I believe that verse about your quiver full is honestly what you as a woman and a mom can handle. Whether it is 1 or 8. 

Children are not easy. I am no supermom. I fail constantly and I have grace from God to forgive me DAILY.


( I added the woman)

You are blessed if your quiver is full. You are a blessed momma. You have grace upon grace.

Moms, lets enjoy our quiver full, however many that looks like in your family.

What are your thoughts on family planning?




19 comments:

  1. Well... my husband had a vasectomy after we had three children within 16 months (all conceived while on the pill)... so you can take a stab in the dark on my opinion on the subject. :)

    I'm with you on it being a matter for parents to consider prayerfully. Honestly, I would've been a terrible mother of lots of kids. And maybe that means I should've worked harder to be a better person... but I think that maybe it means that this is about the number of kids God created me to handle. And I'm good with that.

    In general, I think we spend way too much time making judgments about other people's parenting, and not enough fixing our struggles with our own. You know?

    Being a mom is tough... Supporting each other in whatever our varying choices seems a lot better use of our time and energies! :)

    Jo
    In Which We Start Anew

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    1. Thank you for sharing Jo! I agree we should stop making judgements and fix our own struggles. Supporting and having that encouragement is what we ALL need :)

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  2. Being a mom is hard no matter how many kids you have. It's easy to say 'I want X many kids' before you have them! I don't think anyone is really prepared for how much work kids are! There is nothing wrong with letting God decide how big your family is. There is also nothing wrong with deciding for yourself either! I think more important then the number of kids we have, is how we train them! I read a blog the other day and there was a quote that stuck with me. It said, "most people want to leave a betters world for their children, I want to leave better children for the world."

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  3. Great post. Each quiver is uniquely designed. May we always remember that. Thank you for this reminder. I visited from Titus 2days & am glad that I did.
    Blessings,
    Joanne

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  4. It's easy to judge other people when you've never been in their shoes and don't understand the kinds of things they're dealing with! I understand that more as I get older. I also know what it's like to fantasize about having a certain number of kids.. and then rethinking it when I experienced what it's like to have kids. Haha.

    I bet it's nice to have the decision made for good. Your kids are so cute! Your littlest's face makes me smile.

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  5. I entered the Catholic Church after having two and medically arranging it so we could have no more (I have very difficult pregnancies emotionally). I know many people take issue with the Catholic stance on family planning, but I have to say that I agree there is a loss in the mystery and purpose of the marital relationship once childbearing is out of the question. I think each person has to pray about it and come to their conclusion, but had I entered the Church before making my decision, I do think I may have done it differently.

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    1. Praying and agreeing with your spouse is a big part of family planning. I agree :)

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  6. Elisha- I struggle with this too. I want lots of kids but that may be because my husband and I have had so much troubling actually having them. We have one daughter now and I would love to adopt a dozen (if money and my sanity would allow it). I hate how society puts this stigma on us for making decisions like this. It's great that you and your husband agree and are handling this together.

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    1. Thank you Kerrie! Thank you for stopping by

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  7. I wonder why it's so easy for people to look and judge. It seems Christians especially are good at this. Each family has to follow the Lord, and the Lord will not take us all down the same path. It's better to do well with little, than to fail with much. That can apply to parenting as well.
    I'm stopping by from Titus Tuesdays.

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    1. Love that quote! Thank you for stopping by!

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  8. My husband and I are conflicted on this. We fully agree with the Catholic Church's stance on natural family planning, and have practiced it throughout our marriage, but me and pregnancy don't mix so we really want to be done having children as it doesn't seem fair to subject myself and everyone else to ten more months of misery. I worry about what Kate said about part of the marital relationship being lost by artificial taking childbearing out of the question.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Kiara! I am so blessed that we all here have our own opinion with no judgement :)

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  9. I love this post! I think this day and age kindof changes just having as many kids as you can. I mean, have you seen the cost of living lately? Daycare anyone? Or food? I mean I am all for trusting God but I am also all for using the wise brain he gave me and the hubby to make some wise decisions. Right now I have yet to finish school and our youngest of our two boys is almost 9 months old. I would love another one but just not yet. I think it's a positive thing to love and be content with the blessings you have, whether it be one or ten. Nothing wrong with that.

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    1. Thank you for visiting Laura! I think it is a postive to be content also

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  10. I definitely wanted a large family before my first pregnancy. Then when I realized how difficult pregnancy and labor are, I began rethinking it. I still want a big family, but now we're taking it one child at a time.

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