6 years

6 years. I haven't seen my mom in 6 years. Today marks 6 years since she passed away. For almost a year my mom battled stage 3 ovarian cancer.

 I remember when she sat us down and told us. We were sitting on the porch outside our home. I was just about to enter my senior year. I was also beginning a relationship with my husband (then my new boyfriend).

6 years. I am going to celebrate a beautiful life today. I know she would want to celebrate her and not be upset.  I will always remember her positive attitude, her fighting every battle that cancer threw at her. I remember have my driver's permit and having to drive her to the hospital multiple times with her in pain. I remember sitting on her bed with her many times talking. Chatting about life, about God, anything. My mom was truly my best friend. I could tell her anything and she would spill over with wisdom for me.

I remember a few months after she was battling her cancer I felt God telling me I needed to get checked for thyroid cancer. I told my mom and she took me to the doctor appointment and to the needle biopsy. I remember sitting there when the doctor told me I had thyroid cancer. My mom was my strength. She was there for me. She hurt so bad when I had my thyroid surgery a few months later and she was unable to come because she was in a hospital 30 some miles away. Fighting her own battle. 

She raised me since I was adopted at 10. She is my mom and always will be. Every girl needs her Marmee (my name for her from Little Women). Every girl has so many questions that she can only ask her Marmee.

I am so happy that she is able to be celebrating with God today. I am so happy she is no longer in pain.

I remember when the cancer finally took over more than she could fight. We went to a family reunion. She was so sick we were going to fly back but the night before I had to call 911. She couldn't breathe and was scared. A few days after she was released she flew back with my Aunt. My dad, my brothers and I drove back home.

When we arrived home she was in and out of the hospital. Finally she went to the hospital and would not talk. I would sit in the room with her and talk to her but she wouldn't. Now I know why. She was scared, she was tired and she didn't want to believe she was going to die.

I am thankful to God for not letting her suffer anymore. I am thankful she is no longer in pain. So today when I go and visit the site where we buried her I will be celebrating. Celebrating her. Celebrating how she always gave and rarely took. Celebrating her kindness, her sweet and determined spirit.

Have you lost someone dear to you?