Friday, October 4, 2013

How to keep your introvert but still reach out {part one}

I grew up behind my older brother. Literally. When we would go to a youth group outing, I would huddle behind him or if my best friend was there I would stay close to her. She was bubbly and outgoing. Me? Extremely quiet, I wanted to talk to people but wasn't sure how, I felt awkward, etc.

When I finally began dating my husband (who I met when I was 12), I didn't say more than 10 words our first two months of dating. Honest. I was introverted. I was quiet and taking it all in. 

I remember I used to pray for opportunities to grow as a person when I was a teen. I would get those opportunities but I wouldn't take them for fear of speaking with people. That is how introverted I was.

Now that you know a little more about me, how about a few tips?

Make Contact. The first part of reaching out is actually going and making contact. As moms we think for some reason the mom down the street, the mom at church, the mom at MOPS, etc. We think they have it all together. We think they don't need another friend. Another support. But you know what? We do. We need connection, we need contact. 

Pick up your phone today and if you aren't comfortable talking on the phone (which introvert is, unless it is someone really close to you), text them. Message them on Facebook and invite them over. Yes, invite them over and don't super clean your home. Invite them into your grace-filled home that is lived in. 

Be Persistent.  When finding that community of friends you need to be persistent. We need to reach out to each other and offer to bring a drink, or watch their kiddos for a bit. Let's build a community that is full of grace, laughter and messes. 

As an introvert these two tips can be difficult at times, but if we don't make contact and we aren't persistent where will we be? Sitting at home. On our couch. Wishing. Hoping. 

STOP. Stop wishing and hoping. Just reach out a little bit. Invite that mom from church over for lunch. Invite the whole family so your husband is their and it is more comfortable for you. 

Actions speak louder than words. 
Let's make contact. Reach out this week! 

This is the 4th post in a  series- Calling all Introverts 


  1. Such great advice. It's hard being an introvert but it can get easier over time. I was recently at a wedding reception regaling my table with amusing stories. Later in the evening I mentioned being an introvert and everyone laughed. (wink) A couple of stories you can tell well and you know are funny come in handy. I am SO much braver than I use to be, but that phone thing...still terrifying. Love this blog!

  2. Hi:)
    I am enjoying your series! I went and did the test and I'm an INFP... My hubby laughed at the description that we feel so deeply, it's sometimes even hidden from ourselves. I often try to see things from the other person's point of view and he was teasing me just recently that I probably even try that tactic on myself!
    I think being persistent has been the challenge for me. I can make contact but to nurture the relationship thereafter takes work... That's why I find it's just fine having a few close friends, it's not too exhausting trying to keep in touch all the time:)
    Blessings! Lara

    1. That is true Lara! :) Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Beautiful truths here, Elisha! Beautiful and practical.

    I'm thankful for your voice and wisdom!

  4. Interesting series... do you have a post coming up about handling rejection? Even those of us who are ambiverts take rejection personally... even if it's not intended to be.


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