Tuesday, April 15, 2014

6 tips to not feel defeated as a mom

Picking the clothes out each Saturday evening now the past two weekends for Ben because I can't seem to contain my excitement. Josh just smiles and shakes his head but he also knows how much this means to me.

My four year old is playing soccer or more he is learning how to play the game. The first game, 10 minutes in, he had tears streaming down his face because he didn't understand and said he didn't like soccer. Josh was ready to go. Yet when you are the mama you know. You know when you need to push your child a little bit. 

We gave him a moment to rest, take a drink, some hugs and quiet talks. Then I pushed him to go back out and try, nice but stern, because I knew. I knew he would love it. Guess what? He can't stop talking about catching the tail (the flag) and being a superhero as they call it while fixing the cones when other knock them down. 

He has been twice now and he loves it. Yet, 10 minutes into it the first time he was ready to quit, give up. Thinking about it the past few days it reminds me of life. You push, pull, drag, stomp and suddenly with your hands in curled up fists, tears about to come you want to give up. 

But God. He is there. Saying it is an endurance race, not a quick jog through life. You can feel defeated on those days when milk has spilled twenty million times on the table, floor, etc. You can feel defeated when you can't seem to have a moments peace. But God is there. Saying to run with endurance. Run with faith not with sight. 

Take a deep breathe. 
Realize this age is such a short amount of time you have to actually be with them and them wanting to be with you. You are shaping hearts, not personalities. Just keep saying that. 

Step outside and take the littles for a walk to explore. 
Go exploring! Find some butterflies, birds, worms, fish, etc. Anything! Try to see if they can draw them or explain what letter they begin with. 

Turn on some music.
Turn on some praise music or turn on your Katy Perry radio and let them dance! The boys loved to dance to "Can't Hold Us". It's our go to song on tough days. 

Give them hugs. 
While Ian was sleeping the other day and Ben was quietly talking to me. I so desperately wanted to finish my book but I placed it to the side, looked at him and asked if he wanted a hug. He said yes and we just hugged and cuddled for 5 minutes. It was bliss, refreshing, encouraging to us both. Sometimes a hug will cure those defeated feelings, anger quietly creeping up to calm down and go away. 

Diffuse some oils.
We do this sometimes when it is becoming a rough day and I also will rub some lavender on the boys wrist and my own. Bring some calm into our home and hopefully rest.

Call or text a friend
Sometimes you need encouragement from other mamas in the trenches of motherhood too.

So I learned that day at soccer from my 4 year old that when I am wanting to give up and crying and saying please make it go away. You need to push because that is what He is telling you, He is encouraging you to push through with Him right there. Cheering you on. You can do this. Just breathe and plow through with grace friend, I am right beside you cheering you on also. 


  1. Great tips! We all have those days, nice to have a plan ahead of time! :)

  2. I love it. You're a great mom to recognize that moment and to push through the frustrating moment. You're so right about the days we want to quit as moms, we just need to continue to run the race with endurance. I love your tips on how to take care of yourself on those weary days. :)

    1. Thank you Charity, yes endurance seems to be a part of motherhood and life ;)

  3. This was such a beautiful post! Thank you for the encouragement:) Xx Lara

  4. Good for your little boy (and you for encouraging him) for sticking with something and giving it a chance! I need to be more like that. I often get discouraged and upset when I have a hard time doing something, and my instinct is to run away from it and avoid it forever and ever and ever. But sometimes if you give something a longer chance, you find out you like it after all!


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